(Jenny’s Note: A friend–let’s just call her “cupcake lover”–is filling in for me today, with thoughts on her own recent experiences as she transitions from being an omnivore to a vegetarian! Let’s show her some veg love! I’ll be back tomorrow with a “Tempeh Thursday” meal!)
So it begins with this: Why would I want to keep being married or being a vegetarian a secret? Well read on! Firstly, the married thing. It’s all about insurance and saving a thousand bucks to be able to afford this whole ‘glamorous’ wedding. So the deal is this: we signed a slip of paper that makes it legal for us to save this $1K! I’m not telling anyone I know so that they and we can properly enjoy our whole ceremony. I want to cry at my wedding! So I haven’t changed my name and we went about our daily thing. As far as most people know, I’m still single.
So onto the veggie thing. Well, it all started about a week into December last year. It’s been on my mind for so long, but honestly it took an innocent trip to PETA’s website and the video that I never played just sitting there and titled something like “watch these turkeys get punched, thrown and kicked” and my stomach lurched. Tears came to my eyes and I just sat there thinking “Oh my God! I just ate turkey at Thanksgiving and the turkey I ate was probably tortured before its death. I have always heard there are atrocities in the meat industry and just didn’t realize how horrible it is.
From that day on, December 7, 2008 I have not eaten so much as a strand of turkey, beef or lamb. I didn’t tell but three people because 1) I didn’t want to mess up and let myself and the animals down. I felt if I started broadcasting that I was a vegetarian then I’d have to follow through, and after 28+ years of eating meat, that’s a lot of pressure! What makes one a vegetarian anyway? One day? Not hardly! Not even one week. I knew I’d have to go a significant distance to really call myself a vegetarian. Besides, I haven’t given up fish. PETA said it might take steps to become completely vegetarian, and the most important thing to give up right away was poultry. 2) The whole resistance thing. I’ve already encountered resistance from a co-worker. It was innocent enough, but not my thing. I just got into a little debate without meaning to.
I went to see a friend right before Christmas. Since I wasn’t broadcasting that I was trying to eat vegetarian, she didn’t know about my two-week old experiment and had made me a lovely dinner. I couldn’t refuse because it may have offended her, so I ate chicken soup. It won’t happen again that way. I have been speaking up more and will be prepared the next time around. On Christmas day my sister prepared a duck. She was so excited to have contributed to Christmas dinner, but no one was eating it. I was still in the veggie closet with my family (big meat-eaters and some hunters), not looking forward to any debates at Christmas so I ate some duck and a bite of ham. Since Christmas, I haven’t eaten any meat except fish, which my sister was so kind to remark that fish are not vegetables so I can’t call myself a vegetarian. Ok I admit it. But I’m doing what I can right now.
I’m guest blogging to reach out to a network. To get my story out there and get some positive feedback from some beginners like me, who are still having those awful cravings and perhaps dealing with a bit of resistance. My mother once referred to vegans as being in a cult. A cult! I think most people would be disgusted and unpleasantly surprised at finding out what the meat industry is doing to animals. Sadly, they do turn a blind eye and deaf ear and say “I don’t wanna know, I just can’t give up meat!” In return, they look at vegans as “weirdos” and feel the only rational explanation is that they worship animals. What a load of crap!
As for me and my little experiment, I honestly can’t believe it’s been over a month! I feel tremendous! I am still having cravings as I mentioned before, and I’m trying to imagine my life without fish, which I only eat about once a week. I did tell my mom and sisters that I am eating vegetarian. My mom asked, “So is there a reason?” and I was ready with a response. Being as religious as she is, I told her I didn’t think God intended for his creatures to be treated in the way that they are. She agreed with me on that point and let it drop. It’s not about their support really, my family and friends aren’t going to change my mind about being vegetarian, but it has added stress in my life to have that resistance and it’s the reason I did wait so long to tell anyone. But now I feel just about ready to come out of the closet with everyone else.
This is my first guest blog ever. I would love to hear questions or comments for me to reflect upon. I’m going to need a network of people to help me through this, people that understand what I’m going through and that can offer tips. I have loads more to say, but I’m not writing a book here! Don’t rule it out though… 
I’m passionate about things I care about. I started a photography website because I love photography. Now I love my veggie lifestyle and who knows what that will manifest!
Cheers!
“Cupcake Lover”
I relate completly with the added stress. I don’t know any vegans or vegetarians other than on the web, so when I politely turn down food offered to me, I get hit with a lot of questions and quite a few insulting comments.
I don’t like confrontation, so I usually just say ‘it’s up to me what I choose to put in my body’ and walk away, but you always get that one person that won’t let it go and it makes my blood boil.
I don’t make comments when people I know are eating meat. Sure, it disturbs me, knowing how animals are treated, but there is nothing I can say to these people to change their minds. In my opinion, those who don’t care enough to at least look at the facts and decide to even cut back on their meat intake are selfish, but I’m not going to cause a huge debate, which is why I think it’s extremely rude when they come at me with accusations of ‘crazy diets’ or ‘stupid cults’ (a family member actually used that one on me) as being the reason behind why I became a vegetarian and then a vegan.
When I became vegetarian, I only did it for a 30 day new years resolution as a cleanse. During those 30 days, I ordered the Peta veg starter kit and watched the dvd, which had me sobbing like a baby. I haven’t touched meat since. I was never a fan of fish, so I didn’t go into veg gradually; it was all cold turkey for me. I decided to give vegan a go after reading Skinny Bitch this past November. I didn’t think I’d be able to stick it out, since barely any stores around here carry the products I use/need, but so far it’s been gold. I eventually found the stores that carry most of what I need, and for anything else, I stock up when I do find it.
The hardest thing to give up over all is my grammas cheese cake that I request every birthday. I didn’t get one this year, but I do plan on making the one that was featured in this blog earlier in the week.
Anyway, I didn’t mean for my comment/rant to be this long, though I could have made it 10x longer and still wouldn’t be finished with what I had to say, but congrats on converting. I’m sure you’ll find it an even more rewarding experience as the time goes by.
Alexis, I’m with you… I don’t like confrontation. I respect the choices of others, and hope they do the same for me. Of course, that’s not always the case. :-/ I do try to take the opportunity to educate people about the veg*n lifestyles, but I try not to be preachy about it.
Tracy over at “A Vegan for Dinner” recently wrote a great entry, which I support 100 percent because I couldn’t have said it better myself. Stop by for a read if you get the chance. I think we all can relate: http://aveganfordinner.blogspot.com/2009/02/activism-vs-assholishness-difference.html
I LOVE the photo!
I’ve been a lacto ovo veggie for 12 years and I’ve learned a few lessons (some the hard way)!.
1. Don’t feel you have to justify your position. You’ve made it and you don’t have to explain why. For me personally I’ve never like the taste of meat so it is very useful to just say I don’t like it. Your situation is different, but still you shouldn’t have to explain yoyrself.
2. Avoid big debates. It is a VERY emotive issue and you’ll be arguing logic and the others will be arguing emotion. No one will gain any ground and it is basically just a waste of time. Many meat eaters feel bad about eating meat but enjoy it too much to change. They get very defensive and I can understand why.
3. A lot of my friends and family comment on how they respect me for never ever trying to “convert” them. This has been a winning strategy for me and it is not my intention to argue people to my side. I try to promote vegetarianism in the small things i.e producing delicious meat-free meals to my guests. I get a lot of positive feedback and quite a few friends ask for recipes, which they add to the weekly menus (which in a small way cuts down the meat they buy overall).
As the previous commenter said, my comment could have been so much longer (cramming in tons more). Just be sure to make your transition under the watchful eye of a dietician or similar. It takes a while to get used to taking in proteins from other sources.
All the best and congratulations on your life-changing decision!
I’ve been vegan for about 5 years, which started when I did some research on diet when my mom got cancer. I run into the “rolling of the eyes” from some of my family, but all of my close friends veg or not completely respect my decision and eat my cooking! There are a few things I would recommend:
1) Be informed about the reasons- you SHOULD know why you’re veg (i.e. animal cruely, as you’ve mentioned, anti-disease such as heart, cancer, diabetes, obesity, the environment & greenhouse gases from factory farming) Many people don’t know these things!
2) Don’t preach or judge, but if someone asks you why, you can give them some sound educated answers from reputable sources, like the United Nations report on the environment and the PCRM (Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine).
3) Be patient- don’t get angry- I use the psychology of getting on “their” side and saying things like, “yeah, I know- I thought all this was crazy too, until I learned about….” If you get defensive and overly upset, you come off as “crazy” and further fuel the notion that vegans and vegetarians are nuts.
4) If they’re still being cruel and judgmental, remember this fact- the reason they’re being that way is because your truths are scaring them and threatening their foundation of what they’re comfortable with. Sometimes, I just deflate everything by saying laughingly, “Sheesh! I didn’t think MY food choices would make you so crazy- it’s not like I’m trying to convert you to my CULT or anything… by the way, we’re having a PETA meeting in my basement after midnight- wanna come? You gotta wear purple shoes, though!”
5) Cook some veg food that ROCKS, and that omnivores would’nt expect. I no longer crave meat so much, but my family and friends I cook for do. When I want to use a meat substitute for them, I always go for the ones at the Asian markets, from Taiwan, etc. because they taste more like meat than ANY of the others. Tofurky & Field Roast sausages are pretty convincing too. Make amazing cupcakes without eggs- and don’t tell them until AFTER they’ve eaten and enjoyed them.
Lastly, there are usually some people in your family with health-related issues (i.e. high cholesterol, weight, etc.), so share with them how great you’re feeling and how your other veg friends have drastically reduced their cholesterol, reversed heart disease, and lost weight without going hungry- because that is the truth!
Yeah, I never make comments about people eating meat, yet many many meat eaters feel the need to make negative comments about me being a vegetarian. It’s sooo annoying. If I’m not in your face about eating meat, why are you in mine about not eating it? Why do you care??